Conversations with Chino: Pops on Puente

Featured

Ask anyone that knows Pops what comes to mind when they think of him and they’ll surely answer music, or more specifically, Tito Puente.

Nearly every memory I have of living with Pops involves music because he was always playing an instrument.  There were cowbells and congas and timbales and pianos and saxophones and clarinets and of course the infamous flute.  The flute was like a third appendage for Pops.  He played the flute EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for as long as I can remember for what he called “Jam Sessions.”  Can you imagine being six years old and it’s eleven o’clock on a Tuesday and there is literally a full on Latin Jazz “Jam Session”  going on in the other room?  Between the non-stop Latin music and the billowing smoke from my Ma’s chain smoking, I thought our home was a jazz lounge. (Update MA hasn’t smoked in thirteen years! How awesome is that?)

Pops didn’t just play the flute at home.  Under the front seat of his car he kept a TRAVEL FLUTE.  Yes.  You read that correctly and the travel flute was not like some hatchet kept behind glass for use only in case of an emergency.  The travel flute was constantly pulled out EVERYWHERE.  BBQ at a friends house? “Let me go get my flute” he’d announce and everyone would get that look on their face like they knew the get together was about to go up a notch.  But it wasn’t just parties.  We could be having a family picnic at a park and the flute would make an appearance.  We could be at a wedding or party or really just about anywhere.  Family cruise to the Caribbean? Yes, the flute came along.  That’s how he’d win talent shows and make friends with EVERYONE on the boat.  “Hey!  Isn’t your dad the flute player?” crowds would yell as my brother and I would run away.

His love of music flows into his love for the infamous mambo king Tito Puente.  Pops followed Puente throughout his entire career.  He followed him, he emulated him and he stalked (or met) him on several occasions. One of the more memorable times was when Tito was playing with The Florida Orchestra in the late ’90s while I was on staff.  Pops was backstage and at rehearsals and up close and personal at an intimate reception.  It was a great night that I’ll never forget.  I know Pops won’t either.

Here’s Pops on Puente.  Enjoy.

MA, Tito and Pops.

MA, Tito and Pops.

 

COUNTDOWN TO SUMMER!

Featured

This is the first May in three years that I am not in a frantic scramble to find a school that meets our tween’s ADHD needs.  CAN I GET AN AMEN PEOPLE!????  Big sigh of relief over here because let’s face it- May is a challenge all its own without added drama.

We’ve talked about it before – you know the drill.  Moms everywhere are run ragged in May with endless to do lists and dozens of year end programs that really WE COULD DO WITHOUT.  More places to have to show up to requiring showering and non yoga clothes.  Um.  No thank you.  We are already busy trying to fill the endless days of summer  because our sanity depends on it.

We are desperately perpetuating the autopilot ballet we have mastered so well over NINE MONTHS (oddly enough the exact amount of time it took to make these little people) that keeps all the balls in the air at all times.  You know, the chauffeuring, the homework checking, the school project nightmares, the flow of clean uniforms and PE clothes, the endless buffet of meals!  Is anyone else wanting to board up their kitchen?  Please family.  PLEASE.  Just stop eating.

All these things are in continuous flow for eight months.  Then May happens.

May shoots out of a cannon creating shock and awe with Teacher Appreciation week.  Now these are amazing people who truly deserve to go on a weeklong cruise, so WHY DON’T WE JUST POOL OUR MONEY AND JUST GIVE THEM THAT??  Instead, we have themes for days on end where somehow we have to remember when to bring in flowers, or candies, or poems or some random thing that I can’t imagine them even wanting. So on top of all that’s required we do an additional litany of things that we feel would be more appreciated.  This year I’ve spent an entire week at school helping to put on an over the top lunch each day for these amazing teachers.  I’ve loved every minute of putting smiles on their faces and yum in their bellies.  What a privilege to serve them!  But it’s exhausting and I’m pretty sure I’ve gained five pounds and need to sleep for five days to regroup!!

That’s just the start. Next up is all the events.  Poetry recitals.  Plays. Concerts.  Art showcases.  Muffins with Mom.  Five or more field trips.  Class parties.  Sign ups for at LEAST ten events along with permission slips. Don’t get me going on snack sign up for this stuff because I just made more than fifty enchiladas when erroneously sent a reminder from school that ended up being from LAST YEAR!  Could’ve used that info before step #25 in enchilada prep!! This is all in addition to the litany of regular stuff. AND this requires showing up AND dressing up.  Just getting these kids together and to school is a challenge, now WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE CAR AND ADULT?  Please make it stop.

So by mid-month, our crumpled to-do lists are in hand and Chariots of Fire is blaring in our heads and we vow to see it to the end because summer is coming!  And that means no homework and no alarm clocks and no driving before the sun comes up and NO PACKING OF LUNCHES!  It’s a beautiful thing.  And we are almost there people.  Just keep walking toward the light while you cross those items off your list.

As for me, I’m celebrating early.  I know that’s dicey since we are just at the end of week one and May can be sneaky.  But I’m not searching for a new school so right there I AM WINNING!  And my tween is making some strides.  Dare I say – flourishing  even – just a tad?  And my teen is barreling through high school like a boss.  And there’s this clenched fist full of confetti I’ve been carrying around for a long time but haven’t had cause to use since we’d been school searching and switching. Luckily I’m an optimist and I’ve kept it handy – even when dragging through the darkest of the valleys – hoping to use it one day soon.

It may take a crow bar to pry my contorted white-knuckled hand open at this point, but summer’s coming and I’m launching some confetti.  Come join me and cheer on the dawn of JUNE!!!!

CHRISTMAS CAN BE CRAZY…AND PERFECT.

Featured

When you’re on the first leg of a roller coaster going “click, click, click, click, click” and you finally make it to the last click at the top with a perfect view of all the way down – this can be the very description of Christmas Eve.  Because Christmas Eve can be the launching pad to crazy so to speak.  You know what I’m talking about.

Christmas is the holiday of all holidays.  Expectations are never higher.  Even if you’ve rationalized it all in your mind, our hearts are eternally set on a perfect Christmas.  It’s just how we’re wired.

Just two years ago, after putting the last set of matching pajamas on edge of a guest’s bed and the last of the presents under the tree, I found out I had the flu.  THE. FLU.  The diagnosis came as the doctor was explaining I was to be quarantined for FIVE DAYS – which meant I was missing Christmas that year.  Along with the house full of guests on their way to stay for several days, and all the food and fun.  Yup.  It was definitely a LET DOWN.  Especially since I’d prepared for so long and anticipated this time together so much.  But it was THIS Christmas – the one I totally missed – that taught me something I had NEVER thought about.

Christmas is PERFECT.  It literally stands on it’s own as PERFECTION.  Look into the picture, you know, the manger scene.  Re-read the scripture we gloss over so easily, missing the reality.

Is Mary freaking out because there was no room at the Hyatt and they’re traveling and she is GIVING BIRTH TO THE MESSIAH?  Is Joseph holding his nose and searching for Febreeze because they’re literally in a manger?  Is it a scene of chaos and disappointment?  Are their hearts heavy and sad because it didn’t unfold the way they had expected?

There is nothing in the manger scene besides PERFECT PEACE and AWE.  Glory to God in the highest because HE is the only One that can take what would be a dismal picture by our expectations and make it absolutely perfect.

Luke 2:20 “The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.” This manger scene is the fulfillment of God’s promise.  THIS IS OUR GIFT.  Nothing can be added or taken away from it.  It is perfect, eternal and ALL OURS. 1 John 5:11 “And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.”

God provides us with the perfect Christmas every year – because it’s this time of year we are reminded that THE GREATEST GIFT of all is ours for the asking.  It reminds us we are LOVED and CHERISHED and SPECIAL and the only problem that really matters is already TAKEN CARE OF.

So.  Now what?  Well, when the mother in law insists on bringing green Jello salad with marshmallows in it instead of the Italian Wedding Cake you suggested (this may or may not have actually happened just days ago in my life) – it has zero impact.  Zilch.  It doesn’t go with my menu or seemingly help what I was trying to achieve for Christmas dinner. But it just doesn’t matter. I’m literally “Tra La La…nothing to see here”.

Because one year God pulled me close.  That Christmas when I lay in bed so sick and alone.  I could hear Christmas happening just outside my bedroom door, but I wasn’t there.  He took all my expectations away that year and invited me to lean into the manger scene to see that God’s ALREADY made Christmas perfect and we are invited to just enjoy it.

Baking therapy that’ll shift you into Christmas gear! Here’s one of my favorite recipes.

Featured

It sounds weird but if you’re exhausted and wanna take a break from your Christmas to-do list, a great way to wind down is to do some baking.  You can involve the kids if you want to have some quality time or you can pour yourself a glass of Sangria and go it alone.  Either way, put on some Christmas music, light your tree and slow everything down a bit while you make something delicious you can enjoy and share with your neighbors.  Your taste buds will be tingling and you’ll be refreshed by the time you’re done!

Easy & Unexpected: Coconut Macaroons

IMG_7620

So, my cousin Liz is a chef.  This comes in very handy.  One Christmas during a visit she graciously did a cooking class with the kids and shared this incredibly easy and delicious recipe.  And when I say easy – this is barely baking people.  It’s more like throwing things in a bowl and making magic.

Here’s what you’ll need:

IMG_7599

  1. A bag of coconut
  2. Half can of sweetened condensed milk
  3. 1 egg white beaten to soft peaks
  4. 1 tsp of vanilla
  5. Pinch of salt
  6. 1/2 cup of chocolate chips

Here’s what you’ll do:

  1. Pre-heat your oven to 300 degrees convection
  2. Mix all the ingredients and drop small firmly-packed scoops on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper

IMG_7603

3. Bake for 20-25 minutes

IMG_7619

That’s it!  The most work you’ll do is cleaning your mixing bowl.  In thirty minutes you’ll have these sweet cuties as an unexpected addition to your baking arsenal.

Try them out and let me know how it goes!  Eat them or give them away.  If you decided to just pour the sangria and look at the pictures that’s fine too.  Either way leave me a comment and have a wonderful Christmas!

IMG_7625

Making Sweet Family Memories – Even If It Kills Us!

Featured

FullSizeRender-7Our home is often referred to as the “Key B&B” because it not only looks like it could be a Bed and Breakfast – it serves as one to our family and friends on an ongoing basis.  We host everything from afternoon barbecues to five-day extravaganzas where we hunker down and never even leave the house.  And why would we?  With a continuous parade of food and family fun who needs the outside world!?  Or changing out of swim suits or pajamas for that matter?

With some planning and a helpful husband it really isn’t that big of a deal to host.  And truly, opening our home to others makes us happy because it seems to make others happy.  Making happy is low pressure.  We can deliver on that pretty easily.  Throw another cobbler in the oven, put out some fresh fish tacos and fire up the blender and you pretty much make happy.  But when it’s a long-anticipated family reunion of sorts, with big expectations and even bigger personalities in the mix, the fish taco fail safe recipe is not a sure thing.

This past week was one of those times.  My sister in law was coming for a long-anticipated, off-then-on-again visit with my two nephews who are off the charts on the cuteness scale.  They’re pure butter.  I can barely keep the barrage of kisses and hug squeezes to an acceptable level. I mean, seriously, look at these faces!

FullSizeRender-1FullSizeRender

Anyway, since our visits are infrequent and this crazy life has thrown in crazy circumstance there was high emotion and high expectation and that alone can be a fast track to derailing a trip quickly.  I was feeling the pressure.  I wanted magic moments for my MA who was desperate for some baby bonding time.  I hoped for Pops to see how important it is to squeeze on the actual babies who are usually just on the other end of a computer screen.  My kids were anxious for the family time with their cousins.  And we were all clamoring to give my sister in law a much-needed change of scenery and some heart-felt love to roll around in.

Our plan was to eat, and laugh and hang and just be together!  And boy did we!  We ate.  We ate often and we ate a LOT!  There were three squares a day plus snacks and desserts.  We laughed. We splashed for hours in the pool and at the beach and we shared sunsets and sandy walks. We somehow really got it all in there.

FullSizeRender-4

But we also had our dicey moments.  Like the littlest one exercising his lungs at the highest pitch possible.  I mean blood curdling “someone just got murdered” screeching for hours on end.  If there were wallpaper on my walls it surely would’ve peeled by now.  Bless the sweet boy!!  Or then there was Pops…who kinda forgets that other people are actually here and he gets lost in his own moments.  Like blaring Latin jazz music on the Lido Deck while he enjoys the pool by himself because all others with normal hearing had to run inside to save themselves.  Yeah…that was a three-hour, one-man party.  Or the ADHD tween that decides he doesn’t want to play with the three-year-old cousin because he can only do the social thing for so long.  Or the Nana that can’t help but hire a photographer because she has to capture the moment and get a photo with all her grandbabies.  And we all KNOW the pressure leading up to and during a family photo session. There should be special muscle relaxers given as you book a session!  Night. Mare.  Wait…add the littlest cutie screeching THROUGHOUT said photo session.  THE. WHOLE. TIME. Now Nana is looking weary with worry at how the shoot is going to turn out.  And the teen is starting to complain: “Why are we having to do this?”  And the tween goes missing because there’s rocks to explore.  Pops is just mesmerized by the sunset sky and literally gets lost in it and is oblivious to everything else.

Sister in law is hiding behind a rock in hopes that the littlest cutie stops screeching if she’s out of sight.  “SMILE!!!!”  When it’s the last thing anyone wants to do.  Too staged.  Too strained.  Too posed.  These are precisely the reasons why family get togethers can go wrong.  They are pushed past what comes natural.  You can almost hear the screams through the photo.

FullSizeRender

My parent’s 17-year-old dog that leaves a trail of pee and poop.  Yeah…that’s stressful.  Even annoying.  And it happened more times than we can count.  But THAT is not what makes family time go south.  Knowing ahead of time and accepting that a dog that’s older than Abraham himself is going to mess on my carpet continually is what gives me the mindset to shrug it off and just deal when it happens.  Knowing and accepting ahead of time that Pops will get lost in his own moments and may or may not notice a near drowning child in arms reach helps me get past it.  Remembering that Nana will thoroughly question my practices regarding the disposal of any food items that have been out on a buffet for the better part of a day helps me shrug it off. These are the things we KNOW will happen and accepting those ahead of time makes it inconsequential when it happens.

FullSizeRender-8

Are you having family over and anticipating a little tension?  Make simple goals.  Goals that are actually in YOUR grasp.  My goals were to provide meals that kept everyone going and to open our home and anything we have to be at the disposal of our guests for their enjoyment.  At the end of the day these are the only things I can control.  Also, and this one is important so lean in here: BE EXPECTANT OF THE SCENARIOS YOU KNOW ARE GOING TO HAPPEN. This is your family and/or your good friends and you didn’t just meet them yesterday. You are well aware of the things that can and WILL happen.  Just be waiting for the doozies, then cross them off the list when they happen and move on.

Expectations are our worst enemy.  We tend to build them up based on people that don’t exist in our circles – only in our minds.  Then we impose those expectations which makes things strained  because it just isn’t our natural way.

You can actually have a load of fun with the wacko people that are under your roof – just take your head out of the clouds, plan for reality AND ENJOY YOUR FAMILY JUST AS THEY ARE.  Take the time you’ve been given together and make it special by keeping it real.  It can actually be spectacular and wonderful.  Dare I say PRECIOUS?

If we look past our expectations we are free to catch the wonderful and sweet that will just happen on it’s own, because every family has it’s own brand of beautiful.

What’s your best tip for keeping things afloat when your house is full of family? What’s your biggest fail?

Easiest “fancy” dessert EVER!

Featured

FullSizeRender-3

If you’re looking for something decadent, either to share or to devour yourself, you may be tempted to browse your local bakeries for options.  Sure you can find something special if you go this route and it’ll probably taste anywhere from pretty good to spectacular but it’ll cost you.   And if you’re fairly social and looking to bring something special to a dinner party or add something unexpected to your own party menu for use on a regular basis, then it’s a good idea to have a “go to” that you can whip up on your own.

Don’t think this is up your alley?  Like to keep things simple?  Then this recipe is perfect for you because it’s so super simple you’ll be a little embarrassed at  how impressed your friends will be when you present it to them.

Ganache has panache.  Period.  It sounds fancy.  It tastes decadent.  It’s a little mysterious.  And let’s be serious, anything French connected to food is simply wonderful.  Almost better than how delicious it is, is how easy this beauty is to make.  The cake pictured above can be coming out of your kitchen faster than you can drive to your local gourmet bakery, pick one out and plunk down at least thirty bucks for it.

You in?  Here we go!

1.  BUY AN INTERESTING CAKE PAN

FullSizeRender-6

The shape of your cake is what’s going to give your ganache a beautiful landscape to stretch out on and show itself off.  Look for something with height that’s different and spectacular in a bundt shape.  I received this pan as a gift a decade ago and it’s still in perfect condition.  For somewhere in the $30-40 dollar range you can go to Michael’s and find something that makes you happy.  This little investment will prove more than worth it and the rest of your recipe will be chump change.

2. CAKE MIX AND BAKING SPRAY

FullSizeRender-7

Yes.  It’s a boxed mix.  I know, pick your jaw up.  I said SIMPLE.  In Spanish that’s “FACIL.”  Say it with me.  F – A – C -I – L.  Listen, if you have a scratch recipe you can’t part with then knock yourself out.  The truth is, this little boxed mix comes out absolutely rich and moist every single time and there are no prizes for toiling over a scratch recipe.  In the time it takes to measure out 13 ingredients you’ll already have this baby in the oven and be sitting on the couch thumbing through a magazine.  You choose.

The baking spray is a MUST.  We are using odd shaped cake pans and those definitions in your cake aren’t going to be pretty if you don’t use the spray.

Follow your mix directions and spray your pan well before pouring in your mix.  Your new pan is already doing the work for you as that cake begins rising into a beautiful shape.

3. MAKE YOUR GANACHE

FullSizeRender-4

I know.  You’re worried.  You’ve already furrowed your brow when you read “Make your ganache”.  Pull yourself together and just measure:

  1. a half cup of heavy whipping cream
  2. eight ounces of semi sweet chocolate.

Pour your cream into a pan and begin to warm it on a medium to medium high setting.  Add your chips slowly and stir continuously.  I think I over mixed on this one because you can see the air bubbles in the picture.  It doesn’t matter, ganache is so forgiving.  Once I pour it on the cake the bubbles will be gone.

Mix your chocolate until everything is a smooth consistency.  You can add a tablespoon of veggie oil at the end for sheen, but that’s optional.  Let it sit for about ten minutes and cool down, giving a couple of stirs while you wait.  Talk to it.  It’ll tell you if it’s ready to meet the cake.  You’re looking for smooth and creamy, but not runny.  If it’s runny add more chips and stir it back on the burner.  Too thick?  Add more cream and put it back not the burner.

What you’re looking for is something that will be pourable but thick and not soupy.

4. “CAKE MEETS GANACHE”

FullSizeRender-8

 

FullSizeRender-5

FullSizeRender-2

This is where you look at your cake’s beautiful curves and cover them up with deliciousness.  Very carefully you’re going to gradually pour the ganache at the top of the cake and make your way around the highest ridges.  The ganache will fall into place on its own BECAUSE THESE TWO WERE JUST MADE FOR EACH OTHER.  They know what they’re doing and you are merely making introductions. You can cover it all evenly on a cooling rack then move it to your cake plate afterwards, or you can drape it over the top and let it do its own thing like the one pictured below.

FullSizeRender-3

VOILA! A chocolate ganache cake – that looks like it could’ve come from your nearest bakery and tastes just as good too!  Except YOU made it.  You didn’t even have to leave the house and let’s face it, getting things done while in your pi’s is better.  It just is.

Buen Provecho!  Please share some pics of your own creations.  I can’t wait to see what comes out of your kitchen.

YOU CAN’T DIE ON VACATION

Featured

Vacation. It’s the inoculation for fear. What is it about vacations that makes people feel adventurous and invincible?  Things my family would never consider at home have an allure when we’re away.  Without even a consult, the hubbs is automatically signing waivers and handing over cash for us to try something crazy and we all cheer him on! What’s wrong with us?

I didn’t take a lot of time to join in the research on our recent vacay to Costa Rica. Actually, I took zero time to help plan as it was May and we’ve previously discussed the nightmare that month is for moms (see the previous post for details).  So, for once, I just decided to be surprised.

SURPRISE ONE: WHITEWATER RAFTING

Okay, so why do people do this?  It’s like saying “Hey, wanna risk your life and jump in this washing machine of death and hope you make your way out after the spin cycle?” First of all, the tumultuous river water was FREEZING!  Then, in looking around, I noticed everyone was a LOT younger than the hubbs and I. This is not a confidence builder. Luckily, I spotted the nice Indian family from Chicago we met on the van ride over.  The mom looked insanely nervous, as did their two kids, who were on the verge of tears.  It’s obvious this was totally the dad’s idea and he, like us, believes you can’t die on vacation.  This scene immediately made me feel fearless for some crazy reason.  All of a sudden I’m thinking: “Let’s do this thing!” Gustavo, our raft guide, was incredibly friendly and made the trip feel fun and practically safe.  When we weren’t paddling for our lives I noticed the river could be serene and beautiful. It was a breathtaking surreal mix of lush greens with the cleanest air I’ve ever breathed.  Exotic birds were everywhere and there was a soundtrack of nature I’d never heard.  As the boys jumped out of the raft to float down the river at the adventure’s end, I felt like we had peeked into an exotic private world.  Thumbs up for surprise one. Bonus: We were still alive!

IMG_9700

SURPRISE TWO: FOREST NIGHT TOUR

We moved on to Monteverde, which is a lush jungle-like cloud forest reserve of wild untouched land that’s home to stuff you mostly just see in books.  Okay, so that part sounds cool, right?  Now, how ’bout grabbing a flashlight and trekking through it IN SEARCH OF CREATURES AT NIGHT!? Yeah, so this is totally where Blair Witch Project and Pretador collide with our vacation.  While nothing about this makes sense I was absolutely all about it.  Yes, pit vipers can kill you.  Oh and look…there’s one right there.  (Not scared.)  I was just wondering why our path was called the Tarantula trail when our very sweet guide, Christian, pointed a HUGE one out to us.  (Interesting, but still not scared.) All sorts of scary sounds oozing from the darkness begin to engulf us as we walked through the area for the TWO HOUR TOUR OF DARKNESS AND DEATH. There was an olingo climbing above us in the trees and insects that look like leaves.  Everything had such a surreal factor that I’m convinced that’s why I wasn’t scared.  It was all so UNreal that my mind couldn’t process that it WAS real.  This was a truly once in a lifetime adventure with two thumbs up.  Bonus: No deadly bites! Double bonus: The tween was scared and mom wasn’t. Mark that one down.

IMG_1361

IMG_2004

SURPRISE THREE: Animal encounter and volunteering at PROYECTO ASIS

An interesting and beautiful drive away from the cloud forest where we were staying brought us to Proyecto Asis – a wildlife rescue center where the hubbs had planned a tour and volunteer session for the fam.  This was a great opportunity for us to get a hands on education about the unique wildlife of Costa Rica.  Our guide Carlos, and really everyone we met, had a deep love and appreciation for the land and it’s wildlife. We met monkeys, pigs, birds, snakes, caymans, an ocelot and everything in between.  After being introduced to each of the wild residents there we enjoyed fresh coffee and fruit before preparing and serving lunch to all the animals.  It was a blast!  Well, everything except the tween sitting on a ledge with legs dangling and a CAYMAN sunning THREE FEET from him. He was surprised by my near heart attack for some reason.  Besides that scare this was a human opposable thumb UP! Bonus: The tween’s glasses were stolen by a monkey who proceeded to WEAR THEM very proudly.  It was perfection.

FullSizeRender-2

FullSizeRender

SURPRISE FOUR: EXTREME ZIP- LINING AND HANGING BRIDGES

Zip lining is a hallmark of Costa Rica, so if you’re gonna do it ya might as well go BIG or go home.  We did a THREE HOUR, THIRTEEN zip line tour of the longest and highest zip lines in all of Costa Rica.  IT. WAS. AMAZING.  The longest one was over a kilometer in length and the heights were WELL ABOVE the forest canopy.  It was like sailing over a sea of giant broccoli.  On the last one the boys went “Superman” style and were completely suspended in a horizontal position.  It was such an adrenaline rush I’d nearly forgotten that the tween went missing around the second zip line as he went ahead with the guides  INSTEAD OF HIS FAMILY.  Are you noticing a pattern here?  Yes.  He will end up killing his mama one day soon.

The next day we spent several hours on a hiking tour of eight “hanging bridges” which meant we were dangling hundreds of feet above jungle floors in search of wildlife. This was another breathtaking adventure with vistas we will never forget.  Big thumbs up on both of these. Bonus: I even looked down a couple of times!

IMG_1839 IMG_1840

FullSizeRender-1

MORE SURPRISES: UNPLANNED CRAZY

Crazy follows us…I’ve told you this.  And crazy doesn’t TAKE a vacation just because we’re ON vacation.

One episode was the tween running ahead on a waterfall hike and me finally catching up and looking on from afar as some dude plucked him from rushing waters as the kid was pinned on rocks trapped in a strong current.  I’m thinking: “Did somebody just save my kid’s life? Who was that?” In all the mayhem we couldn’t find the guy afterwards.  Yeah.  That happened.

Then there was the bizarre yoga session in a gorgeous outdoor yoga studio.  I was so excited until…our instructor knew zero English and was so stuffy from allergies she was completely intelligible.  I don’t think SHE could understand what she was saying. She announced she was doing a meditative chanting class.  I woke up at 6 am to do chanting!??? And how do you chant what you can’t understand!?   It was beyond ridiculous. The one other guest and I could not make eye contact because we were already giggling to ourselves. This made my second yoga attempt at another location even more anticipated.  I was excited, settled and set up – taking deep breaths – feeling relaxed.  Then a dude walks in with video equipment.  “Señora we tape today for resort video.  I try and not get your face.” Seriously? My peace just cracked like an egg.

IMG_0862

It’s hard to forget the unnamed sickness the hubbs contracted which kept him nearly bedridden for FOUR DAYS.  He mostly just moaned while sweaty and delirious for hours on end. He’d try and join us for activities during the day as much as he could, then at night he was just a mess. He looked near death but refused a doctor visit.   We had to just vacay without him, but we did do night time vigils to make sure he was breathing. We’re not savages!

Then there was our bumpy two – turned four – hour drive with the gas gauge teetering on reaaaaaaally low.  Car sputtering.  Windows down to conserve fuel.  Nervous silence. Nothing and no one in sight. Family praying for a miracle.  Finally, I see a man standing out on the road and we pull over!! “Hola Señor – necessitamos gasolina.” He points down the road to his friend’s house only two hundred meters away explaining how lucky we were since this is the ONLY gasoline between where we were and where we were going.  What are the odds the man would be standing there as we passed to tell us where the ONLY gas would be?  Our tank audibly exhaled as we removed the cap and our lovely new friends laughed with us on the side of a very dusty, rocky road.

Praise God for not ever taking vacations from watching over our crazy selves!  Miracles still happen.  And you notice them more when they come in response to the crazy.

Another miracle is that we made it home alive.  Our daring adventures are just memories now and we’re safely on the couch recuperating and recounting the fun.  Let’s here it for summertime fun!  And living to tell about it.

FullSizeRender

 

SUMMER: Taking our show on the road

This was by far the SHORTEST school year with the LONGEST ending.  The month of May is always a grueling marathon for moms. We all know this going in – we try to head it all off at the pass – but by May 15 we are ALL losing our sanity.  My to-do list was longer than my arm and it was a smeared, crumpled mess that I could barely pry from my clenched fist by mid-month.  Why do schools wait until the last several weeks of the year to have every special event imaginable?  There are talent shows, school plays, field days, art shows, teacher appreciation week and the list goes on and on. It’s enough to set the most organized, well-prepared momma crying in aisle twelve of the grocery store because she can’t even remember why she’s there and she can’t read all the smeared lines on her to do list!!!  CAN I GET A WITNESS PEOPLE!?

My fave is when we’re informed that NOW OUR PRESENCE IS REQUIRED so we can hear our kid recite a two-minute poem!!??? WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS???  This requires showering and non-yoga pant outfits!!! Don’t they realize that collectively moms are all acknowledging we have reached DEF CON FIVE – I repeat DEF CON FIVE?  The minions are nearly out for summer and ALL HANDS NEED TO BE ON DECK IN PREPARATION.  It’s a lot of stress. That’s all I’m saying. Thank God it’s over. Adios May! Don’t let the door hitcha in the butt.

Sigh.  Deep breaths.  So, somehow we all survived the trauma that is the month of May.  Praise the Lord. For the Key family the end of May signals high tailing it outta town to celebrate that fact that we have all survived.  This doesn’t necessarily mean there are kudos all around for glowing report cards.  It doesn’t reflect frolicking hand in hand with teachers as we recount each joyous day they had with said minions throughout the school year. It means we SURVIVED.  In my book, survival calls for celebration.

So the hubbs comes up with this idea to try a new place for vacay.  My answer is “What’s wrong with the old place!?”  But whatever.  I’m game for anything since alarm clocks are now at the off position and book bags are being burned in the back yard and homework is nearly just a bad memory.  (Homework is almost like childbirth – just days after it’s over you almost forget it was as bad as it was.  Well, almost.  But you know what I mean.)

I really couldn’t believe we were set to leave town.  I was thinking to myself “There’s actually a jet out there being gassed up because it’s gonna fly us outta here! We have have made it to the finish line!!”  I’m so excited that I almost don’t mind reminding the tween FOR THE THIRD TIME that he really should put clothes on his naked body since we are ready to leave.  As I turn around to hand him his travel toothbrush I WALK INTO HIM MID CARTWHEEL – while he’s still in the nude – with a force so strong that he knocks me IN MY JAW AND INTO THE WALL!  I literally didn’t know what hit me at first but then my brain called up the last image of said tween’s bony butt and his heel coming at my jaw at 50 mph.  I saw stars!  Then I saw blood!  Then I felt a pain so enormous I couldn’t even process what was happening.  I was so angry and so hurt that I did what many moms might do in such a situation.  I sat on my toilet, locked the door behind me and cried.  I cried hard.  I could hear him crying hard on the other side of the door too – he was scared and sorry.  But I couldn’t even answer him to say whether I was okay because I mostly wasn’t.  While there was the shock of getting socked in the jaw, I realized my tears were seemingly endless because this school year was another tough one for him, and when your kid has a tough school year you do too.  So I sat there and figured I should just keep crying until I was all done, because if you don’t get rid of all the tears you need to shed they linger.  Then they creep back up on you at inopportune times when you’re NOT sitting on your toilet – alone- behind a locked door and you end up looking like a wacko.

My lip was bloody and swollen, my jaw hurt to the touch and I was certain it was pushed out of it’s place.  No matter.  Jets don’t wait.  So off we were.  Family fun time was officially kicking off and I was in a catatonic state with facial injuries.  I mostly didn’t speak during the plane rides or layovers.  It hurt just to think. My head was on fire.

Then fast forward to our vacation’s first morning.  A quiet walk with the hubbs through a beautiful maze of green with the backdrop of Costa Rican mountains and tropical foliage and he says “Look there’s the spa. Go in and pick some stuff out to have done because you need it.”  Who am I to argue?  I’m thinking, “Wives, just submit to your husbands already.”  So the next thing I know I’m walking into a room with rose petals on the floor and delicate aromas wafting through the air.  All those spa sounds that are cued up in most places are actually just naturally happening as I’m in this gorgeous outdoor cabana with flowy sheer curtains and like a thousand little birds and wildlife that are making a symphony of happy outside.

The serenity of the moment was a huge band aid on the previous day’s bruises.

Deep breaths.  Beautiful.  Happy.  Special.  My heart begins to go back to it’s normal rhythm once again.  In my mind I kept saying “Praise the Lord!” over and over and over.  He’s so good isn’t He?  Did I mention the rose petals ON THE FLOOR!?  How frivolous and spectacular is THAT!? He specializes in spectacular. “Praise the Lord…praise the Lord”, I just keep saying it in my head to the rhythm of those amazing birds and frogs and whatever else was joining in.  I thought at one point I heard turkey sounds.  Costa Rican turkeys were lurking and joining in the fun!? And that’s when I opened one eye to see if I could find the turkey and instead – standing almost taller than the bright blue sky – I see the HUGE VOLCANO that was towering above us.  Yeah…I almost forgot that was there.  I thought to myself “What a great metaphor for my life,”  or any of our lives for that matter.  There’s a huge volcano that could blow at any minute towering right above us – ALL THE TIME.  Even in the midst of strewn rose petals and happy.

Why run from lava that's not flowing when you could be smelling the rose petals?

Why run from lava that’s not flowing when you could be smelling the rose petals?

So what should we do about that??

I decided to tune back in to the symphony of lovely those Costa Rican animals were making for me.  What?  Am I gonna take on a volcano now too?  No. It’s not going anywhere.  Whether we can SEE the volcano or not – it’s ALWAYS there.  WHY RUN FROM LAVA THAT’S NOT FLOWING YET WHEN YOU CAN STOP AND SMELL THE ROSE PETALS?

Deep…breaths…of…thanks. This moment is my gift and I’m taking it.

Then off in the not-so-far distance I could actually hear the tween yelling “Dad! There’s an iguana over here!”

WELCOME TO CRAZY TOWN!

 

 

 

Pops diving into the East River from Greenpoint, our Brooklyn neighborhood. Circa 1960 something.

Looking out my bedroom window as a kid I had a great view of Manhattan.  From our small Brooklyn apartment or more specifically my bedroom – which was the size of a glorified broom closet – I could see the majestic Manhattan skyline.  It didn’t matter that I had to look past an old factory and several other small buildings because when the Twin Towers stand gloriously before you, anchoring the mammoth of concrete and glass that is NYC, all you can see is POSSIBILITY. You are breathing in opportunity and breathing out doubt. It’s like getting a private invitation to take on the world.

Sometimes I wonder if this glimmering reminder sitting outside my window is responsible for instilling confidence in me early on.  Well, it was either that or my MA or a little of both.  MA was always reminding me that I could do anything.  Actually, it was more of a mandate than a reminder but that’s how my MA operates.

Confidence is a good thing. These days it’s a necessary thing. More than any other time in my life, even my days as a professional trying to move up the next rung on the workplace ladder, it’s NOW that I’m reaching deepest for that confidence. Why?  Well, because my life has so many layers of crazy that some days I’m really not sure I’m able to do this thing.  I’m smothered in CRAZY. There’s family crazy, kid crazy, school crazy, friend crazy – crazy is indiscriminate to every single facet of my world. And THIS is why I refer to my life as CRAZY TOWN. Thanks for stopping by, I bid you a hearty welcome!

On the surface, my CRAZY TOWN may seem pretty status quo.  I’m a middle-aged momma, married to a middle-aged dad and we have two boys.  There’s a house and a dog in the mix, along with the typical packed schedules and what not.  But much like nouvelle cuisine, a base of “familiar” is kicked up a notch with an eclectic mix of the unexpected.  For instance, there’s an extended cast of family characters and circumstances woven through my CRAZY TOWN that turns everything upside down. It’s sort of like sprinkling chocolate shavings on a platter of duck confit.  At first you’re thinking Duck Confit AND chocolate? This is just weird!” – but by your last bite you’re agreeing that it all kinda goes together.  That’s my life and family. It goes together like…duck confit and shaved chocolate.

Another layer of said shaved chocolate definitely comes from my famliy’s culture.  I’m Puerto Rican. A very pale, red-headed Puerto Rican – two concepts that seemingly negate each other. My parents were both born on this tiny Caribbean island that has more flavor and character than an entire continent fifty times its size.  We’re BIG personality people.  We’re LOUD and PROUD.  And there are LOTS of us.  I have more than twenty five first cousins.  Everything we do is an instant party – including funerals.  I’m so serious. Food and festivities are our go to and it never, EVER gets old.  We can keep a fiesta going for DAYS people. Random dancing is literally like breathing air.  It just happens.  On your way to the bathroom?  RANDOM DANCING WITH WHOEVER IS IN THE HALLWAY.  It happens. It’s awesome and wonderful and although I look more Irish than Puerto Rican to some, I have immense pride in my heritage and all things Puerto Rican.  These are MY PEOPLE – these are mi gente.

Speaking of my people – the base of this stockpot of CRAZY are my parents Ed and Edna.  They are kind of like a Latino version of Ben Stiller’s parents from Meet the Fockers.  For 57 years these two have navigated their tenuous relationship in a way that’s comedic, tragic and everything in between.  They have perpetually teetered on ending their “love capade” for longer than I’ve drawn breath, but somehow they have this unbreakable commitment that borders on serving a jail sentence. Every interlude with them includes talking over each other, arguing, laughing, repeating everything twice and shouting. They are quite the spicy combo.

On the homestead there is the awesome hubbs who keeps me sane and laughing and together we parent our teen and tween who are basically Felix Unger and Oscar Madison.  No – there is absolutely no stretch of the imagination in that description of our children.  They are as different from each other as humanly possible so as to S T R E T C H our parenting skills like yoga positions that are LITERALLY KILLING US SOFTLY EVERY DAY.

Throw the tween’s exhausting ADHD in the mix along with his brother’s basic teen junk ON TOP OF all the rest of the CRAZY and there you have it.  It’s a whole community working together as well as against itself to comprise what I affectionately refer to as my life in CRAZY TOWN.

My life is hard and easy, excruciating and fun – it’s YING and YANG in every possible way as to make sure I am continually on my knees and praying!  Since I realize that no matter what the “flavor of the day” is – it’s good for us to share our experiences, spur each other on when we feel like we just wanna nap FOREVER in a fetal position or snap each other out of the ruts we fall into because LIFE IS CRAZY AND IT IS HARD.  We need each other to remind us that LIFE IS ALSO GOOD and IT’S BETTER TOGETHER.

So I invite you to join in all this incredulous fun.  I’ll be sharing RECIPES and PARTY IDEAS along the way because there’s a lot of that going on in between pulling my hair out as a mom and wife and all the other hats I wear each day.  Remember I’m Puerto Rican so we can turn anything into a party.